Monday, October 29th 2012
A GAME CHANGER! JAMES HARDEN TRADED TO HOUSTON ROCKETS!
After coming so close in last season’s NBA Finals, the Oklahoma City Thunder aren’t ready to start the new season by merely maintaining the status quo. That’s why it’s not all that surprising that, in an attempt to make an already strong returning team even stronger, the Thunder pulled off a nine-player deal late Saturday with the Houston Rockets, multiple sources reported. The biggest stars of the deal were forward James Harden, who goes to the Rockets, and Kevin Martin and Jeremy Lamb are the highlight players that go from Houston up the road to Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City also sent Cole Aldrich and forwards Daequan Cook and Lazar Hayward to the Rockets. In return, the Rockets also sent the Thunder three draft picks, completing the huge nine-player deal. Harden, who was a member of the U.S. Olympic team that won a gold medal in this summer’s London Olympics, averaged nearly 17 points and over 4 rebounds per game last season. He had been seeking a large contract extension from the Thunder, who had already doled out big long-term deals to stars Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook and Serge Ibaka. But that will not be the case for Harden now, who will be left to negotiate a new long-term deal with his new team. In a statement announcing the deal, Thunder general manager Sam Presti said the trade made great sense for both teams. “We wanted to sign James to an extension, but at the end of the day, these situations have to work for all those involved,” Presti said. “Our ownership group again showed their commitment to the organization with several significant offers. “We were unable to reach a mutual agreement, and therefore executed a trade that capitalized on the opportunity to bring in a player of Kevin’s caliber, a young talent like Jeremy and draft picks, which will be important to our organizational goal of a sustainable team. We appreciate James, Cole, Daequan and Lazar’s contributions to the Thunder organization and this community and wish them the best in the future.
Filed Under: Sports
Wednesday, October 17th 2012
JEREMY LIN TELLS GQ HE WANTED TO RETIRE AS A KNICK!
Jeremy Lin admits in the upcoming GQ magazine cover story he not only wanted to remain in New York the next three seasons, he wanted to stay there forever. Lin, who will be on the cover of November’s issue of GQ, is in training camp with his new team, the Rockets, but in his most emphatic remarks on the subject, he said he preferred New York. “You can’t ask for a city or a fan base to embrace somebody more than they embraced me,” he said in the magazine’s November issue, as the cover subject. ”I know it’s kind of silly to talk about it with only two years under my belt in the league, but going in before free agency, I was like, ‘I want to play in front of these fans for the rest of my career.’ I really did. “I really wanted to play in front of the Madison Square Garden fans for the rest of my career, because they’re just unbelievable.” Lin thought so, too. Even Houston made that clear to him. “The Rockets thought I was going to be a Knick,” he said. “They told me when I signed, ‘We think it’s an 80 to 95 percent chance of that happening.’” But after Rockets GM Daryl Morey upped the back-loaded part of Lin’s contract to $14.8 million in the third year, the Knicks didn’t want to match the offer for the restricted free agent because of financial penalties. Knicks GM Glen Grunwald addressed that on Knicks’ media day. “Basically, it comes down to the fact that Houston made a commitment to him that we weren’t prepared to make,” he said. “But I’m very happy for Jeremy that things worked out for him personally and for his family, and I wish him the best.” If the Knicks ended up signing Lin, they would have been due a significant luxury tax in the third year of his deal, also factoring the millions owed to Carmelo Anthony, Amar’e Stoudemire and Tyson Chandler. That would’ve potentially brought their total out-of-pocket cost for the team’s salary to about $43 million during the 2014-15 season. Knowing that they were going to let Lin go to Houston, Raymond Felton was brought in just one day before that decision via a sign-and-trade with the Trail Blazers. By that point, they were already locked in with a legit backup point guard in Jason Kidd. So all in all, preparing for the Lin departure had its positives.
Filed Under: Sports
Tuesday, September 25th 2012
EXPLOSIVE VIDEO: ELLIE GOULDING-I KNOW YOU CARE
Ellie Goulding - I Know You Care from Webincore on Vimeo.
Back like she never left, Ellie Goulding shows us that she’s still Britain’s go-to girl with new song “I Know You Care,” which will be featured on the soundtrack of [and works as the perfect backdrop to] new Brit film Now Is Good as well as her upcoming sophomore album Halcyon. The chilling song was written by Goulding with the help of Justin Parker, who is to be thanked for penning Lana Del Rey‘s beautiful “Video Games” and he’s at it again with this new track. The video delivers simplistic and yet powerful imagery as it merges footage of Goulding singing alone in her room along with specific and emotive scenes from the film starring Dakota Fanning, Jeremy Irvine and Kaya Scodelario. As the somewhat sombre film surrounds the subject of a terminal leukemia patient, the video is kept quite slow and subdued, fitting in with both the track tempo and the film scenes. “I Know You Care” will be on Ellie’s new album Halcyon due out October 9th.
Filed Under: Music
Sunday, September 16th 2012
SOURCES SAY HBO ENTOURAGE MOVIE SCRIPT ALMOST DONE AS MOVIE PLOT HAS BEEN REVEALED!
As just about every cancelled series (and even some of the non-cancelled ones) vows to come back as a movie, one popular property’s actually making a bit of progress. Doug Ellin has revealed that his Entourage screenplay is nearing completion, and by “nearing” we mean “just about at” — Ellin says he plans to have the thing done by Sunday. Those who saw the finale may recall that Entourage ended with a cliffhanger of sorts, as Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) got the call to take over as the CEO of Time Warner. According to Ellin, the Entourage movie will jump forward six months to see Ari settling into his new position as a studio head. But naturally, some things never change: Vince (Adrien Grenier), Drama (Kevin Dillon), E (Kevin Connolly), and Turtle (Jerry Ferrarra) remain close friends, with a steadfast passion for partying. More after the jump. Deadline got the scoop from Ellin himself, as the site discussed the project with the show creator via email. HBO has yet to give the movie a green light, but Ellin says he’s been feeling “a lot of positive energy” surrounding the project: “Everywhere I go, people ask me, ‘Where’s the movie?’” And former viewers aren’t the only ones eager to see the boys make it to the big screen. Ellin says Entourage‘s packaging agent Ari Emanuel and exec producers Mark Wahlberg and Steven Levinson are just as excited to get the wheels turning. Wahlberg in particular has promised “to kill me if I don’t write faster,” Ellin reported. So with Ellin working on page 110 of his script, where do all the main characters stand? “There are interesting developments about Ari as a studio head, and that’s still the first page for me. But foremost is the friendship between the guys who are still hanging out and going to fun parties, and it continues with the same characters,” he explained. That description doesn’t tell us a whole lot about the plotline, but it sounds like Entourage, all right. Ellin also told the site that the movie sequel would feature the same “Hollywood send-ups and snark” that made the show a hit. If that means the film adaptation is turning back toward the sharp satirical humor of the earlier seasons and away from the lazy, self-congratulatory tone that plagued its later ones, I suspect fans will be all for it. Perhaps even the fans who dropped the series from their DVRs once the quality took a dive.
Filed Under: Movies
Thursday, August 23rd 2012
THE BEST AND WORST WOMEN TO HAVE SEX WITH!
THE BEST AND WORST WOMEN TO HAVE SEX WITH:
Sex makes the world go round. It’s the fuel to the fire behind your raging hormones through your teen years, the vein of your social exploits during your twenties, and the motivation for success for the rest of your life. While some men get too much of it and others will never know the joys of nights in between the sheets, sex pushes men to do very peculiar things in pursuit of “the gushy.” Unfortunately, not all sex is good sex. You can go ahead and inflate your ego because you swear you’re the second coming of Ron Jeremy, but there have been just as many wins as losses in the sex column. Before you go out tonight and try to pounce on everything that comes across your peripheral, take a moment to assess if the squeeze is really worth the juice. Dinner, drinks, car service, parking, bottles, cannibus; every expense incurred to get that pretty young thing back to your house adds up. Discerning a good deal from a bad deal is an ability you must hone and be able to implement in every facet of your life.
THE BEST OF THE BEST…….
Latina Women:
Typically, it is implausible to generalize an entire ethnicity. But when it comes to Latina women and sex, there is no denying a superior skill set. From foreplay to intercourse, these women clearly are ten steps ahead in their sexual evolution. We’ve said it a million times before: if a woman can dance like she’s been an extra in multiple Beyonce or T-Pain music videos, then she will be able to hold her own in bed, literally. The amount of confidence and passion they demonstrate in bed is one of the most humbling experiences we’ve ever come across. These are the only women that can keep a man’s attention for six hours straight. Most sexual encounters have us heading to the couch after 12 minutes of selfishness, but when encountering a woman who takes skillful control, you may find yourself calling out of work for a couple of days. However, with the good must come the bad. That same passion that kept you sweating atop a bare mattress for the last six hours can turn on you on the drop of a dime. You’ve been warned. Hell hath no fury like the wrath of a Latina woman scorned.
Mollys:
There is sex, and then there is love making. They are two completely separate universes, which one cannot even fathom until seeing the stars on both sides. Although we’re not sure if we even have sex while on Molly, there is definitely a lot of passionate love making. What’s the difference, you ask? It’s a little hazy to remember, but you definitely wake up in a room littered with empty Vitamin-C packets, orange juice, water bottles, and lotion – shit went down. Don’t ask, but we’re pretty sure that this is what R-Kelly was talking about this whole time.
Free Birds:
Unprotected sex = falling in love. Each and every time we go in raw, we could have sworn to God that we may have found the one. There’s no rhyme or reason or foundation to these claims; but damn it, we turn into hopeless romantics whenever we neglect the Trojan. As if we were in our own rendition of Dear John, we cannot help but start to catch feelings for (insert her name here). Unprotected sex is just inexplicably better. And while it tasted clean, God only knows the truth. The only true form of safe sex is abstinence… And sometimes anal.
Your ex-girlfriend’s best friend:
Tupac said it best, “revenge is the sweetest joy next to getting p*ssy.” There is an amazingly sick satisfaction that you get when you conquer your ex-girlfriend’s best friend. Perhaps the second most gratifying feeling after taking a company public, putting down the best friend allows all the angst of your broken relationship to find a release. Let’s be honest; you’ve had it all messed up from the very beginning. There is nothing worse than dating a girl only to find out she’s the least attractive one in the group of monsters she calls her besties. You wanted the best friend since day one, and you know what? So did she. Good for her. Any delusions that you had of getting back with the ex are now null and void.
Escorts:
Let’s get the facts straight here. The reason we respect escorts is because truthfully they are the most honest women we know. You can lambast them and demean their profession as much as you desire, but hey, at least they’re not cheating on their boyfriend with the best friend like you, right? Typically the traveling porn stars or high-end escorts on Eros.com will allow you to get what you paid for. An evening with the girl of your fantasies, dressed in all lace and straps from Agent Provacateur in those 9″ glittery Louboutins beckoning your every command. This is what you’ve always wanted! We suggest you pack some Cialis, as the last thing you want to do is spend $3,000 on a 10 minute experience. No matter how good she is, there always comes a sobering moment right after you’ve finished your deed. You can’t help but be overcome with a sense of shame and disgust which almost makes YOU feel like the whore. It’s weird, we know, but the feeling is inescapable. Like all things you do in pursuit of earning scratch marks on your back, it seemed like a good idea at the time. We can’t say that this will be the first or last time we call up Brianna Banks off of Eros, but we’re definitely getting two girls next time. That should cure any sense of shame.
THE WORST WOMEN TO SLEEP WITH……
Models:
So you want a model? Not the shitty internet models you find on Tumblr or Model Mayhem, but the gap-toothed gazelles from Norway you met during Milan Fashion Week. Did you know one could be too tall and skinny for sex? If you’ve ever wondered what sex with a model is like, just watch an NFL referee during a touchdown. Holding ankles high above your head is not sexy; we feel like we’re on a damn jungle gym. It’s like having sex with Skeletor’s hip bones, and this is the only instance in which being a selfish lover is completely necessary. Get in, and get out. No matter how tempted you are to start wooing these women, please turn and walk the other way. There is NOTHING more dissatisfying than sex with a model.
Women on coke AKA COKEHEADS:
The white powder might keep her up all night, but please do not touch that shit! You will have a lifeless penis for hours on end. The best case scenario is a hand holding cuddle while you lie there embarrassed. Trying to reenact your favorite Tony Montana scene is quite hazardous. It just doesn’t go down like that in the real world.
18 year-olds:
Although barely legal girls are supposed to be the holy grail of women, we humbly disagree. The truth is that 18-year-olds are clueless in every facet of life, and if she is skillful, God only knows how long this ass has been tapped. That nullifies the whole reason you wanted an 18 year old. These “dead fish” are rhythm less and have no pleasurable or redeeming qualities. Call us when you’re 21.
The Homie Hopper:
She’s been passed down the assembly line of your friends time and time before. And although everybody tells you to steer clear, you can’t help but find yourself locking lips with her in the bathroom stall. Let’s just make something crystal clear; she used to date Larry Johnson from the Kansas City Chiefs and Channing Frye from the Phoenix Suns. Trust us; you just cannot satisfy her. It’s like throwing a penny into a cave praying that you hit a wall–she won’t even know you’re there. Your hand would better serve her pleasure, trust us.
White Girls from America:
It’s hard to classify Caucasian girls into one generalized stereotype, That is, until you get them into bed. If you have ever had sex with a white women from Germany or Ireland then you know that white women in America are totally different then white women from anywhere else....especially in the bedroom.They may be able to deliver a shriek-filled performance worthy of any Kayden Kross scene, but the truth is, unless she’s in the adult film industry or just got her duel citzenship, her talents are best served on Facebook.
Filed Under: Comedy
